I Skipped My Prom, No Regrets

There are lots of rites of passage in life but I do not need to experience all of them. I graduated high school, then college, I got my driver’s license, and recently purchased my first car. (more on that in another post)

Next, I would like to get a place of my very own someday. It’ll take some time to save but it will be worth it.

But that’s not what this post is about, this is about a rite I chose to skip and it’s called prom.

Some high schools have a junior and senior prom but as far as I know, the only one mine had was the senior prom. I was not interested in attending at all. It felt like my worst nightmare when it came to social events.

I love dancing but prefer to do it in my comfortable clothes to my own music or at a concert if it’s a band or artist I love.

In fact, I gave school dances a go in middle school, but after 6th grade, never again.

It was okay at first but one of the teachers supervising said she hated my dancing. Excuse me? Yes my dancing is more enthusiastic and authentic, but come on! It’s not like it was sexually suggestive or anything! One time a guy in my 6th-grade class wanted to dance with me, it wasn’t slow dancing with any contact but it was sweet because he was pretty cute and was always nice to me. I have not seen him since that school year.

They tried introducing slow dancing once and I ran away because I was torn whether I wanted to do that or not. Perhaps it was the discomfort of all the touching involved and how close it was. But what really made me give up school dances was the music. Bear in mind, this was long before I became a Metalhead so I was listening to a lot of pop music only and what I hated was those mixes the DJ would run. He’d play a song halfway through (sometimes it would be a remix of it) and then it would shift to another song.

I hated that. I could be grooving to Britney’s Toxic whether it randomly came on, or I requested it, and then it switches to something else midway that I don’t like. I love music, I love to sing or dance to a song I love from start to finish. I think it comes down to my belief that these mixes along with streaming devalue music and I want to enjoy every moment of a song. Going forward, I did not go to any school dances ever since.

Then I realized it was also the social aspect of dances as well that made me stop going to them. My 8th-grade graduation ceremony took place at a formal banquet hall which seemed ridiculous and I fell for the pressure of the desire to have a nice dress to wear (ironic because I only wore that dress on that night). Since I didn’t have a lot of friends at that time, I chose to just get my diploma and leave, I had no desire to slow dance with anyone, be a wallflower, or be dancing to a tune I love only for it to change halfway through again.

I also was hugely insecure that night, especially when one girl from my class showed up in a limo with her friends for the event, especially since she was more popular than me AND she had the same name as me too! So every time I heard my name being called by the other kids in class, I was only met with disappointment that it was not me they wanted to talk to, but her instead. I mean, she was a nice girl and all but still, witnessing her climbing out of a limo like that, like the belle of the ball, destroyed my ability to stay even if I wanted to give dances another go that night because I just knew she would be the center of attention and I was subject to be that other Emily no one ever noticed and end up crying in the bathroom all night. So I left as soon as I could and went out for dinner with my family at my favourite restaurant at that time, instead.

I did what I had to not ruin my moment of moving from middle to high school as best I could.

Then in high school, I had even more reason to avoid them other than the music and social issues. One of my friends I made in math class told me she had gone to some of the dances and anyone there who had a partner on the dancefloor, they were grinding on each other. That kind of touch was enough to make me uncomfortable, let alone, even the mere thought of it, so I stayed away.

Not to mention high school is bad enough with all the peer pressure to have a date for these dances, especially with so many films revolving around it like High School Musical, Prom (2011), You’re So Cupid and even Carrie to a certain degree.

However, it’s not completely relevant in recent years since a lot of girls graduating the same year as me, I heard they went to prom with just their girlfriends and had a good time. But perhaps I was just afraid of being outshone by girls prettier than me, no matter how pretty I thought I was, or those who still bullied me finding a way to have their final attempt to humiliate me one last time.

I didn’t give a damn about not having a date because, by the time I became a sophomore, I realized my studies and friends were more important than a significant other or a dance partner. But I was still annoyed about how big of a deal everyone else made out of it, but then again, that may be just the media talking.

But I guess it was just all the pressure senior prom had in general on what was expected to have a good time, plus the previous experiences I had with school dances, especially with the music. So, no, I did not go to my senior prom and I do not regret it at all.

Today, however, I don’t avoid dances altogether. But it’s not something I would do regularly. Going to a club is not my cup of tea, especially now with my current taste in music that will last a lifetime. Even though mom really wishes we could do it at least once whenever we go to a resort in the Caribbean, at least it didn’t reach a point where she forced me into it.

And in 2018 I went to two weddings and danced a lot until I was on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion. I bolted off the dancefloor as soon as the slow songs came on though, ha!

And yes, I still imagine myself in a lovely princessy ball gown waltzing with Tuomas Holopainen on the dancefloor or in a garden at night in my dreams day in and out, but other than that, I don’t need to experience it for real.

Hell, since I left my 8th-grade grad ceremony early, I never got to dance with my dad but he seemed okay that I was not comfortable with that either.

So prom was never a rite of passage for me to graduate high school, it was just another unnecessary social event for me to skip.

Other than my dreams, the occasional weddings I get invited to, I would rather just dance at home or at a concert. I even found a way to dance to metal and headbang without hurting my neck!

👽Emily