Destroy All Humans! – Rise of the Furon Empire

I love these games that allow me to release my anger on society without harming a soul and this is one of them. A faithfully made remaster of the original game, mind you, I did not play the original but one of my friends did who recommended this remaster to me once it was released. If you like alien invasions with over-the-top humour and parodies where you are the villain then this is a game for you, whether you’re new to serving the Furons or are a veteran.

I actually didn’t take a lot of screenshots for this review because I was partially annoyed that everything I wanted to take a shot of, especially during cutscenes, had that button pop-up to skip if necessary and I don’t like that appearing.

The Furon arrive on Earth to harvest their DNA found in the brain stems of humans. After Crypto-136 goes missing, his next in line, 137 is sent to Earth to learn more about humanity, and possibly find and rescue 136. This is done under the supervision of Orthopox from the mothership and let me tell you, that ship looks like High Charity with tentacles!

The story isn’t much, but as it unfolds, the military becomes more aware of the Furon presence and eventually an organization arrives called Majestic, highly trained to deal with extraterrestrial threats and even counter them with their own technology altered.

It’s fun just mindlessly zapping, throwing, or blowing humans up for no reason at all, so you could say the missions I enjoyed most involved anything to do with that. I initially hated the missions that involved remaining in disguise, like the third mission where Crypto has to sneak into the city and disguise himself as the mayor to brainwash the citizens. I was still learning how to be stealthy at the time, because holobob can be easily compromised and humans are always walking around.

I enjoy going back to certain maps to just screw around and complete challenges (if they’re not too hard with the right upgrades). I think my favourite missions would have to be where you destroy the Rockwell fair, trash the pool party, guard the radio towers, and causing armageddon in Santa Modesta. Each mission offers something adrenaline-inducing, humourous, and sometimes challenging.

My friend told me his favourite mission was Duck and Cover where you take the nuke to destroy the captured Furon saucer and airfield in Area 42, I struggled with that one for some reason, maybe my weapons weren’t upgraded enough, I don’t know.

This game takes place in the US and some maps looked like they were in Nebraska or Iowa, and Washington D.C. during the 50’s given the way people talked. There’s also a strong political theme with them blaming communists on everything but I’m not going to go into detail about that.

When humanity’s final stand is nigh the true antagonist emerges who I didn’t expect to be a woman, but it makes sense because in this era, it’s like the start of a rise to equality. Nevertheless, Silhouette is one tough bitch to beat, never mind the 50-foot president robot before her. I like how when I finally did defeat her she warns Crypto that the Furon have only conquered one place and there is still the rest of the planet and Majestic will always be there. Boy, did Crypto really finish her off the way I would after almost breaking my controller in the fight!

It’s the start of a new era with the Furon Empire taking control of the Earth. Who knew it would be this fun to play as a character that’s considered a villain?

My only complaint about this game is grinding for DNA to get upgrades can be a pain if you are replaying missions or spending time in a sandbox mode on a particular map. I could never seem to complete an Armageddon challenge, but I don’t need to get 100% on this game do I?

Fun remaster overall, I guess this makes me officially part of the Empire now!

👽Emily