MDAS: Memory Denial Acceptance Smitten The Four Stages of Developing a New Crush

Have you ever wondered how I develop sudden feelings for a fictional character or musician out of the blue? I have many times, it’s like there’s stages to it. You are exposed to them in a certain way and thoughts appear where you imagine yourself with them, you try to resist it when others think you like them, then you come to the realization that it’s true, and the next thing you know you’re going crazy over them.

Anyway, this is so autistic of me to be doing, creating this whole set of stages of how I fall for a fictional character or hot long-haired musician that plays in a heavy metal band. We develop so many crushes and many of them stay with us forever. There is nothing wrong with having them around, as long as you’re not spending your entire time absorbed in another world where they are with you in your mind and heart

So, here are the four stages of developing a new crush:

Stage 1: Memory/Dream

In this stage, I might recall a memory or have a dream about the character. In many cases it can take days, weeks months, even years for this stage to arrive after I am first exposed to wherever that character is from. I may see them in like, a movie or TV show, and at first I’m like: Okay he’s pretty cute or he’s very interesting.

It may not be obvious at first that I am attracted to them. In fact, my feelings may begin at a neutral level.

When the dream occurs, sometimes it’s a romantic one and sometimes it’s not. With one of my fictional crushes from my childhood, the dream occurred where I was his prisoner and not his lover. That dream eventually led to me writing a fanfiction about it. I’m not very good at keeping it a secret though since I eventually write about those dreams and my friends find out.

Not long after I’ve had a dream about it, my friends manage to squeeze it out of me. Or, maybe that’s my fault because once the character/musician is on my mind, I suddenly have a slip of the tongue spilling my feelings.

My friends like to tease me about it, but it’s all good intentions. However, I don’t respond right away by swooning and giggling. I try to resist in the beginning.

I come up with excuses like I meant to say someone else’s name or they’re not my type, but all I end up doing is blushing all the way home and they’re on my mind even more. I start listening to love songs that make me think of them like Heart Attack by Demi Lovato.

It’s an inner conflict is happening between my heart and brain whether it’s right or wrong to love this character or celebrity. I mean, it doesn’t hurt anyone and I’m not going to try and make it real if it’s someone within the latter, then when my heart can’t resist anymore, that’s when I finally admit the truth.

Stage 3: Acceptance

By the time I realize can no longer deny it, I come to realize that I do love that character or musician and openly say it out loud like “I love [name goes here]!” I no longer have to hide it from my friends and they were right all along.

If my friends continue to tease me afterwards, I just succumb by giggling or hiding my red face in a pillow. I start to daydream about scenarios between me and the character/musician, I write song lyrics, sing about them, dream, etc. that intensifies the love to an unbreakable state.

Once I’ve accepted the fact that I love the character and openly confess, that is where we enter the final stage.

Stage 4: Smitten

By now this is when I can’t even hide the fact that I’m in love with that character. I watch videos they’re in, gaze at pictures of them, and listen to them speak because their voice makes me melt.

As soon as I reach this stage, I am nearly obsessed with this character. I do all the things I just mentioned, I even write a song about them; sometimes the melody of the song originates from a pop song that was stuck in my head around the time before I find a metal song for them.

My friends drive me nuts about it at this point and it happens almost every time I run into them or when we plan a hangout. Sometimes they even ambush me with it the moment they spot me before I can spot them! Therefore, they get to enjoy the wonderful entertainment I bring of swooning and giggling over that character for many times to come, as long as nothing goes too over the top.